So, my cousin has been suggesting that we start a t-shirt business since she got a fleeting glimpse of my previous creations for Roman (such hits as onesies that say…”Get Dad… I pooped”, and “Nurse me!!”) and since Hank and I are working on a welcome home onesie for Joe’s return home from Korea (read Hanks blog for more details) I spent last night brainstorming. Not one of these ideas suit our needs for a “Hey, how was your year in Korea/A nephew was born in your absence/ he probably isn’t yours/ other funny anecdote” tee for baby, but I’m posting here anyway. Perhaps someone can give me some insight as to which ones are clever enough to use in my new company that I’ll never create. (My ideas evolve into dreams and then fail to progress any farther, i.e, my unfinished novel, my still filthy house, my college degree, you get the picture). So here are my ideas for baby onesies. Maybe you could post your favorite maybe? Maybe you could send me $17.99 and I’ll make you one, maybe, with, as Hank has so eloquently put it, the phrase of your fantasy?
1. This end up (arrow pointing to head, or any area you prefer)
2. I made you something
3. Return to sender
4. Aaarg! I smell something on the poop deck.
5. Worlds best illegitimate son
6. Your toys = my dinner
7. The dog farted… I swear!
8. I’m what happens when mommy gets drunk
9. Product of operation enduring freedom
10. I got good lungs!!!
11. Wanna hook up? I’m available in 2027.
12. The ladies love me cuz I have hair.
13. My little finger is full of people (maybe people will get it, maybe they won’t…)
14. I’m a hybrid!
15. No, I’m not George Clooney’s baby. Why? (You can insert famous icon of your choice, i.e, brangelina, Ellen Degeneres, Michael Vic… you choose!)
16. I hid the bodies in my diaper
17. Will attack on command
18. Just moved here from heaven. God says, “Hi”.
19. I say, “Jump”, you say, “How high”?
20. Peeing freely since 7/30/2007 (also comes in adult sizes)
21. I rule you
22. Change me before this stuff fossilizes!!!
23. 18 lb diapers are NOT in reference to the amount of my POOP it holds!!!
24. Hey, hot stuff! Wanna be my wet nurse?
25. I cost more than a gambling habit.
26. Mommy gave up crack for me (which is NOT true… I still enjoy crack on occasion)
27. I met my daddy on Maury!
28. Genetics at it’s finest
29. Raising mommy’s blood pressure one moment at a time…
30. Slippery when wet
31. Will cry for food
32. Mommy gave me the x factor. Daddy gave me the y.
33. The cheese stands alone…
That last one I just pulled out of my butt… but I didn’t want to end on a chromosome joke, so that’s all I could think of. Although you are probably thinking, “aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?” Well, yes, and screw you. 😉 If you want, tell me your favorites so I can play out my success in my demented little mind. 😉
10/9/2007 7:43:00 AM